Road less travelled....

Someone got me thinking of a word called forgiveness… So I started putting down my random thoughts abt this …. And felt different emotions...

Why forgive?

"Benefit of doubt…" is something, which I have always “tried” to give.. to most of the people who hurt me.. In a way, it helped to forgive them sooner… How??? Well, lemme quote an explanation given by a person whom I admire..“Everyone considers a dacoit as a negative being.. the villain.. He is not worthy of forgiveness for the heinous crimes he commits… But lets say, when he was a little child, he was beat by his father and his mother used to verbally abuse him everyday.. He was made to do work and didn’t even get to eat properly .. And out of hunger and frustration, he stole food.. But alas, he was caught and condemned… ALL this led him to pick up the gun and fight for his survival…. NOW doesn’t this dacoit get sympathies from most of you… Wouldn’t people who listen to this story feel.. if life’s situations had been kinder to him.. he MIGHT have not turned into this ruthless being…
So the “benefit of doubt”…I give… to the “circumstances” that a person has/is going through… We can never know, what demons of life the other person is dealing with… what personal loss has made them bitter … Why that, even after showing so much concern and giving so much love.. still they hurt without rhyme or reason…
Ingrid Bergman said .. Happiness is good health and a bad memory.. Well, a bad memory does help in having long lasting relationships…. It helps to forget the pain…. Not easy.. but why not?.
There is one more thing that I have realized and need to remember.. Everybody hurts sometime… EVERYONE… knowingly or unknowingly.. But nevertheless I should not forget that they have made me feel loved in the past …. And still might give me happiness sometime in my life… At the end of the day.. I should give my love to my loved ones when they need it…

Why forgive?
I once asked a friend to forgive the person who hurt him/her.. My friend replied.. I am not Gandhi or Buddha to forgive… Another one told me that it is not easy to “not” get angry or be bitter.. But.. in many way I feel.. that forgiveness can be a means of punishing the person… a way of saying… You hurt me.. but ha.. I am unscathed and not going to be affected by you.. The person who hurts me… wants me to feel the bitterness they experienced… they get a feeling of happiness in knowing , its not only they, who suffer… But if I don’t plan to be hurt by their acts …and ignore their bitterness.. I don’t give them this pleasure of making me unwillingly share their pain… And that gesture is a kinda high.. Not that I gain happiness by doing this (or maybe I do..)… But the ability to be able to control ones emotions and not react to something… makes one feel stronger from the inside… Control over oneself and the thought that no ONE or no THING affects me … That thought (if possible to retain..) is a high….

Why forgive?
It is a sin to hurt anyONE… by word or by deed…here I cannot claim to be sinless…. But there are some thoughts that cross my mind now and then…
Jus because one is having a troubled time , in NO WAY, gives them the right to hurt another person.. I might wanna ENJOY my moments with you… but you dont seem to wanna let go of your pain… And you become insensitive to everyone… coz you feel they will also hurt you like someone else did.. You don’t see the beyond YOUR love and YOUR pain…. You don’t see the affection and care, which others shower upon you… you jus cling on to your priorities… So hope you wont mind… and would FORGIVE me…. when I change my priorities too……

To get back to the dacoit story … What if the little boy didn’t pick up the gun… he could have made some OTHER choice.. another path... and get himself to fight for his survival .. Then we might have read a story about ,how a young lad.. overcame his circumstances and became a shining example…
Now do we lack examples or do we fail to look around closely enough to notice them???

But I will not deny that sometimes… everyone doesnt seem get that OTHER choice… But STILL, they don’t make the choice to let out the biterness they feel inside by hurting another person.... With the given circumstaces, they carve a path for themselves... I admire them VERY much…. My honest salutation to them... They deserve to be respected… coz NO MATTER what pain one goes through.. you can still share love and make yourself and others happy… And I sincerely hope … that I develop the strength in my heart.. to take the road less travelled….