...listlessness

The word "confession" has become a mockery of sorts, that’s how I see it today… Atleast Hugh Prather would agree with me.. . He said in his book, “Notes to myself” that by confessing we are only shifting the burden to someone else and getting them entangled in our own complications..

I am just feeling more aware about the confessions I make and listen to.. I am doing “nothing” coz there seems no remorse in all of them.. there is only the “information” being given to the other person that “Listen, this is how I am. This is what I have done… stay with me if you want to.. or make your choice to leave..”

Confession means to admit one's guilt. So I admit my guilt(s) and sit back and throw the ball in the other persons court… Now the other the other person has to make a choice.. coz I have told them the bitter truth…. and if its unconditional love they wanna give.. then they WILL choose to accept as I am…. Voila!!!

Here I don’t struggle to change myself… I just make the other person accept me with my faults… Also I suppose i don’t consider “my faults” as a crime , its just that since the other person has different standards of values. I confess to and let them know that I wouldn’t wanna walk their way.. let me be..

Or I just am like all the rebels without a cause….. I wanna be “me..”

Not all confessions are without remorse…. But if i truly feel remorseful.. wouldn’t I stop doing it or would I continue making hopeless confessions…

I listen to them quite often … mine and theirs…

And I have begun to get the eerie feeling that it’s the same everywhere… feeling confused again as to why it’s the same… and like said in this poem.. I have begun to smile old smiles--with listlessness