myself...

I read this quote yesterday

This has meaning in life as of today since i let go of something i desired very  much. I was not able to focus on anything else because i paid attention to only that which i desired. As i let go, i smiled.. the void that was created by letting go can be filled now with other things or i could fill it with nothingness.

In Gretchen Rubin’s The Happiness Project she writes about de-cluttering and leaving a shelf empty, "An empty shelf meant possibility; space to expand; a luxurious waste of something useful for the sheer elegance of it." Its similar to the Zen concept on unlearning that i love, called "with an empty cup". So now i have this empty space in me that needs nothing, a place within me, unlike any other and is as it is...

And the second statement of the quote asks to stay with something that you don't have the patience with. I am a escapist, a person who leaves the area when her tolerance levels are exceeded. So today when i had to spend time with someone i didn't like, i was perturbed beyond words. I started thinking of scenarios where we would have an altercation or i would walk off in fit of fury. As i was building these anxiety towers, i stopped and said to myself, for a change i am  going to listen to this person without forming any judgement and let them be who they are and stay who i am...

And to my surprise, we had an interesting and amicable conversation. Though i did not accept what the other person said in its entirety, i listened without the intent to agree or disagree.. And this whole experience has left me with a feeling of control over my thoughts and speech. I blog here about this so that i can remember how this felt.. How i used to be... I don't want to become passive in my approach as i used to be. Only now i know that what my thoughts are. I might disagree with the other person, but don't have the need to prove anything, to anyone but...