To kill a mockingbird….

Some people are kind and would never harm anyone, like a mockingbird.....

Scout's father, Atticus, tells Scout and Jem, "I'd rather you shoot at tin cans in the backyard, but I know you'll go after birds. Shoot all the blue jays you want, if you can hit'em, but remember it's a sin to kill a mockingbird."

One should never kill a mockingbird because all it does is sing beautiful songs and never hurts anyone.....

I envy those who are being held on.... no matter what….
Those who are being given the freedom and space…..
And feel sad that they don’t understand…. that not everyone is blessed like them….
I suppose they should learn it the hard way.. They dunno the immense pain they cause… by their contradictions.. I can see the pain in the eyes I see…..
But I also feel scared that this is not the right solution… coz it might be inviting only more pain….
What I could never understand is… if they didn’t need it for eternity.. why did they mock to experience true infinity …
I try not to forget… It is a sin to dislike someone based on what others say about them… You can never understand a person unless you have been in that person’s shoes..
And its wrong to assume evil things about another person without understanding their feelings…. Thats why they say its is a sin to kill a mockingbird….


AND


I LISTEN…. to them…
All of them… whom I admire very much…
Strange how they seem to have everythin…. But all that matters to them is ….
Stranger, how all of them are in pain for…. the same reason…
The reason I understand so well…
Alas… I am not able to heal them……
It’s the same puzzle…. But they all seem to have different blocks ..
They all want it to fit anyway.. and somehow it jus doesn’t…
They feel drained… dead… killed…
And why don’t the others understand..
that it’s a sin.... to kill a mockingbird….

matters...

Voltaire said – “I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it”

This is something I strongly relate to…. Not literally word by word.. I jus feel that everyone is free to make their choices and even if I don’t think what they are doing is right.. that doesn’t mean I should stop loving them the way I do……

But… by not stoping them from the harm they are causing themselves, am I doing the right thing… They explain their actions with the need, to satisfy themselves.. which I do not feel is wrong…

But just because one doesn’t feel guilty and has the freedom to do any act to satisfy themsleves… can they make ANY choice available???

If I say yes.... then no matter what a person does, I should not let it affect me..

And if I say no… where is the unconditionality I am striving to achieve…


And here a friEND reminds me “what matters, is how much YOU let something matter, otherwise nothing else....."

Look who's talking!!!

I wanna blog... WHY?

Aaaaaaaa..... Arent there enough people who are already listen to my crap... mmmm.. at the MOMENT.. Yes, there are... Then??? Do i wanna impress them with my language skills... Hmmm.. i dont think i wanna answer that ;)

Well, I have always been carried away by words... In the sense, i enjoy, relish and then... digest them... I get impressed by people, mostly for the manner in which they USE words... And here i dont mean, i enjoy listening to unpronouncable words... But when someONE can make another person smile, with words... that impresses me... Words that bring a warm smile.. Subtle hints.. puns... euphemisms.. wit.. anything which makes a person FEEL good... i absolutely love them..

There are times.. when a friEND jus has to say, a word... and a whole episode rushes into your mind... Then you jus sit back and have a loud laugh.. you feel good.. you enjoy the memory and the present MOMENT as well... In normal usage, that word doesnt carry much significance... But there seems to be a kinda glossary developed between you and your friend.. which adds so much value to that word... And later on, even after years pass by... When you hear that one word.. your eyes sparkle with joy..... I love THOSE words.. which can bring "that" happiness in someone's eyes....

There are words... which can be repeated over and over again.. and the smile from a face doesnt seem to fade away... by LISTENing to it over and over again... You cant get bored of having a person say them to you... they make you feel special and loved... And that feeling seems so rare to get...

There are words... which when used at the time of need... can bring a huge difference in a person's life.... It comforts them in their moments of difficulty and tribulation... They jus LISTEN to that word and feel... peaceful... calm... content... stronger... to face the circumstances... The power of that word.. to bring about this change .... amazes me....

I have also "realized" that sometimes... even WORDS can fall short... and some feelings are BEYOND expression......

Then... there are words... which can move, heal, encourage or uplift.. oneself and another being as well...
Words... which BUILD the strongest connection and bond between individuals, which sustain for years to comes...
Words... which makes one look differently at life's courses...
Words... which makes one think and explore the innumerable possibilites...
Words... that can create ideas and a whole new thought process..
Words... which make us contradict own strong held beliefs....

Now... THAT IS WHY.... i wanna blog.... To put words to my PRESENT thoughts... So that... on one fine day.. when I read my OWN thoughts... i can sit back... have a loud laugh and say.... Oh, really??? Look who's talking!!!!

Road less travelled....

Someone got me thinking of a word called forgiveness… So I started putting down my random thoughts abt this …. And felt different emotions...

Why forgive?

"Benefit of doubt…" is something, which I have always “tried” to give.. to most of the people who hurt me.. In a way, it helped to forgive them sooner… How??? Well, lemme quote an explanation given by a person whom I admire..“Everyone considers a dacoit as a negative being.. the villain.. He is not worthy of forgiveness for the heinous crimes he commits… But lets say, when he was a little child, he was beat by his father and his mother used to verbally abuse him everyday.. He was made to do work and didn’t even get to eat properly .. And out of hunger and frustration, he stole food.. But alas, he was caught and condemned… ALL this led him to pick up the gun and fight for his survival…. NOW doesn’t this dacoit get sympathies from most of you… Wouldn’t people who listen to this story feel.. if life’s situations had been kinder to him.. he MIGHT have not turned into this ruthless being…
So the “benefit of doubt”…I give… to the “circumstances” that a person has/is going through… We can never know, what demons of life the other person is dealing with… what personal loss has made them bitter … Why that, even after showing so much concern and giving so much love.. still they hurt without rhyme or reason…
Ingrid Bergman said .. Happiness is good health and a bad memory.. Well, a bad memory does help in having long lasting relationships…. It helps to forget the pain…. Not easy.. but why not?.
There is one more thing that I have realized and need to remember.. Everybody hurts sometime… EVERYONE… knowingly or unknowingly.. But nevertheless I should not forget that they have made me feel loved in the past …. And still might give me happiness sometime in my life… At the end of the day.. I should give my love to my loved ones when they need it…

Why forgive?
I once asked a friend to forgive the person who hurt him/her.. My friend replied.. I am not Gandhi or Buddha to forgive… Another one told me that it is not easy to “not” get angry or be bitter.. But.. in many way I feel.. that forgiveness can be a means of punishing the person… a way of saying… You hurt me.. but ha.. I am unscathed and not going to be affected by you.. The person who hurts me… wants me to feel the bitterness they experienced… they get a feeling of happiness in knowing , its not only they, who suffer… But if I don’t plan to be hurt by their acts …and ignore their bitterness.. I don’t give them this pleasure of making me unwillingly share their pain… And that gesture is a kinda high.. Not that I gain happiness by doing this (or maybe I do..)… But the ability to be able to control ones emotions and not react to something… makes one feel stronger from the inside… Control over oneself and the thought that no ONE or no THING affects me … That thought (if possible to retain..) is a high….

Why forgive?
It is a sin to hurt anyONE… by word or by deed…here I cannot claim to be sinless…. But there are some thoughts that cross my mind now and then…
Jus because one is having a troubled time , in NO WAY, gives them the right to hurt another person.. I might wanna ENJOY my moments with you… but you dont seem to wanna let go of your pain… And you become insensitive to everyone… coz you feel they will also hurt you like someone else did.. You don’t see the beyond YOUR love and YOUR pain…. You don’t see the affection and care, which others shower upon you… you jus cling on to your priorities… So hope you wont mind… and would FORGIVE me…. when I change my priorities too……

To get back to the dacoit story … What if the little boy didn’t pick up the gun… he could have made some OTHER choice.. another path... and get himself to fight for his survival .. Then we might have read a story about ,how a young lad.. overcame his circumstances and became a shining example…
Now do we lack examples or do we fail to look around closely enough to notice them???

But I will not deny that sometimes… everyone doesnt seem get that OTHER choice… But STILL, they don’t make the choice to let out the biterness they feel inside by hurting another person.... With the given circumstaces, they carve a path for themselves... I admire them VERY much…. My honest salutation to them... They deserve to be respected… coz NO MATTER what pain one goes through.. you can still share love and make yourself and others happy… And I sincerely hope … that I develop the strength in my heart.. to take the road less travelled….